


On The Dotted Line

by demeter11



Series: It Makes A Strange Sort of Sense [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Behavior, Light Angst, Older Man/Younger Woman, Season/Series 03, Secrets, Sexual Humor, Surprise Kissing, Surprise Pairing, Teen Pregnancy, implied sexual relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demeter11/pseuds/demeter11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone in the Scoobie Gang but a willfully naive Willow admit they harbor suspicions that Buffy and Giles have become lovers when Cordelia confesses she saw them doing something untoward. Takes place in au season 3.<br/>Disclaimer- Not mine. Joss Whedon's.<br/>Title comes from the opening paragraph of Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Smell

**Author's Note:**

> I have always wanted to read a B/G pairing where the one or two of the other Scoobies did not agree with the relationship at first.

"Where is Buffy? She was queasy earlier. I hope she is okay, " Willow asked taking a bite of her sandwich.

"She looked fine when I saw her go into the library," Xander said.

Cordelia snorted, "Yeah, I bet."

They all turned and looked at Cordelia oddly everybody but Oz that is.

He was busy looking at Willow.

The redhead inquired, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"What none of you suspect? I mean come on, none of you could possibly be that blind." Cordelia said.

They remained silent.

"Since she has been back, she and Giles have been awfully I don't what's the word- secret-y. And they make a lot of furtive eye contact and they touch a lot. Arms, legs, the arch of the others back."

Willow looking at her darkly said, "Furtive means secretive."

"Anyway, I have been trying to find a way to say this without sounding like a gossip," Cordelia said.

"Babe, since when have you ever cared about that?" Xander asked.

"Since Lolita and Humbert are your friends. Plus, I have no problem with Giles. If I was a dude his age and I was able to bang a hot piece of supernatural, teenaged ass I would, too. If nothing else, Buffy is pretty if you like that sort of thing?" Cordelia said. She would never put the slayer on her favorite person list.

Xander, ever so very thoughtful replied, "What? Hair, eyes, lips, tits, ass and legs?"

Cordelia punched his arm hard and Willow threw her banana peel at him and scoffed.

"I am saying she is athletic is all," Xander recovered rubbing his arm and pouting.

Cordelia tut-tutted then continued. Still, she took no joy in revealing her revelation. Some people you hold to higher standard.

"Saturday night, I was visiting a friend of mine at her apartment complex. She does my nails and help her with her makeup. Anyway, Moira, her name is Moira. She had lost her keys and was digging through her purse. I know Buffy's squawking laugh anywhere and cheap Coty perfume and as they came around the corner. They did not see me. I saw them.

Then they got whispery and they were walking really close like hip to hip or more like waist to hip. She is so damn short."

"Cordy, you are telling us nothing," Xander said.

Willow added ever a staunch friend, "There is nothing to tell."

"I am traumatized and I am getting to it. So, they stopped at his door. There was a light above it. Like in some scandalous, tacky Monday night movie NBC used to show after Blossom a couple years ago-"

Oz chimed, "I used to live for those movies. Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? The most god awful title but it was kind of awesome. Tori Spelling has skills."

Then Xander said, "You see the one when Mulder gets Jo from Facts of Life knocked up- she is his mistress and the chick from Hill Street Blues, what is her name, Veronica Hamel fakes pregnant to keep Mr. Blonde- Vic Vega himself Michael Madsen from divorcing her. So, pretends to be a social worker or something in order to get into Jo the ho's house and wouldn't you know it, she waits until Jo goes to I don't know, make some tea, pee, I don't remember, and she takes the baby and pretends it is hers. I cannot think of the name," Xander held his head in his hands.

Oz offered, "Baby. Snatcher. Love. That. Movie. So very bad that it is so very good. Speaking of Duchovny, you ever seen Red Shoe Diaries. I-"

Cordelia got up and stomped.

"Will you two WASP post menopausal middle-aged women cram it? Damn. Stay on point. Okay for once and for all, he is looking down at herand she up at him. She gets on her tippytoes and pulls him down hard by his collar, you can hear it ripping from where I was standing and she kissed him right on the mouth. I mean full on sloppy soap opera kiss. He pulled away from her frowning. I was hoping she had gone off her rocker and English was going to slap her back into reality because he was frowning at her. She pouted. Want to know what he did next?"

"You are lying," Willow huffed.

"I am not a liar," Cordelia said with more conviction than she had for not wearing white after Labor Day.

"Even though it may come out rude, thoughtless, tactless, hurtful and hateful, what Cordy says is never a lie," Xander said.

Cordelia said smiling, "Ahh. You know me so well. Anyway, he leaned down and he, I throw up in my mouth a little at the sight. Okay, just then I was lying, it was actually a little hot. He sucked her bottom lip then clutch the pearls, he actually threw her over his shoulder and then they went inside. And no one came out all night."

"How can you possibly know that, Cordelia? How do we know that what you saw just wasn't a trick of some sort? Or maybe the light was playing tricks on you? Or maybe they saw you and were messing with you."

Xander snapped his fingers when he made a correlation.

"Yesterday morning, I went to the library for study hall. Giles reading the newspaper and I was actually, wait for it, studying and out the clear blue, he starts singing that song by Duran Duran. I mean like really putting some stank on it. You know the one where they are in a library and there is a rabbi and a monkey."

"That is Tears for Fears, Head Over Heels. I love that song. Buffy turned… me on.. To … it," Willow said before groaning.

Oz shook his head disapprovingly, "Duran Duran."

"I asked G-man, what is her name? Clearly, it was a love song. He blushed and said he did not realize he was singing. Then he got all defensive. He said because they are English and he heard it on the radio. Who among us has ever heard him mention a band formed after nineteen seventy-five? Let alone sing.

Then during fifth period guess who else is singing that song although not as well. The Buffster."

"Yeah, I have to admit, Will, there is something a little Don't Stand So Close to Me about them now that just was not there before," Oz rubbed the small of her back in an effort to soothe her.

Willow scoffed, "How so?"

"The other day I was actually in there looking through microfiches for an American History report. I think they thought they were alone. All of a sudden I hear Buffy moan and say deeper. The harder and faster. At this point, I am looking to hightail it out of there when I heard Buffy say,

"Hi, Oz. Where is Will?"

Thankfully, he was massaging her neck. I mean, that type of touch is intimate. You don't ask any joe blow to touch your body unless you are throwing money down."

"Tsk," Willow began, "Buffy told me about that. A big ass vamp threw her like a rag doll. If she had been anyone but her, she would have been in traction, paralyzed or worst."

Oz replied, "It is more than that, babe, I smell them on one other."

"Okay. What does that mean?" Xander asked.

"How can I put this delicately? You see people's smells come from two places. Their underarms and between their legs. Pheromones, musk, the whole nine. And I thought maybe I was being weird but sometimes I swear I can smell her her on him and his him on her. Like on his face, breath, fingers and their no-no places but I never smell him on her face though. Respect."

"When you say her her, you mean," Xander pointed to his groin.

"Eww. Wait, can you smell everyone's . . . privacy?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah. I know what all you smell like."

"I suddenly feel the urge to go home and take all the showers," Xander said feeling suddenly naked.

"No, man. You have one of the nicer scents as far as dudes go. Cordy could do with a little less perfume. Sometimes you make my eyes water. My Willow, you smell like sunshine," he said.

She wanted to smile but could not. Listening to her boyfriend and Cordelia say that Buffy and Giles were getting naked together was like hearing your twin sister and your favorite uncle were involved. It rankled her.

"Enough is enough. I can't hear any more of this," Willow collected her things and ran away. Natch, Oz followed her.

"Willow," he called out.

"Take it back. You do not smell that. It can't be true."

"It makes a fucked up sort of sense," Oz said.

"How? Can't anything just be pure? You don't see Jiminy Cricket poking Pinocchio or Obi-Wan bending Leia over a table."

"Whatever you do not look up fan fiction online. Secondly, so it was okay when she was with Angel."

"Well, yeah, it was all forbidden like Romeo and Juliet."

"More like West Side Story. Because Maria lives in the end."

"It was gothic and romantic. But, Giles should know better. He is older. I mean he is handsome and I can see the appeal. But, it is just wrong."

"For starters, he is like two hundred years younger than Angel. And he's human as far as I know. They can mate and his soul will not leave his body. He can be in the sun. He can get her pregnant if she wants. Now, other than the fact her mom will probably murder him with her teeth if she finds out let's say ever, he is a step up. Be honest, no one can make Buffy do anything she does not want to. Besides, Buffy does not smell like other people. Kind of musky like before it rains."

"She smells like the earth then."

Willow's eye twitched and she kept walking. Still, he was behind her.

Halfway down the hall, Willow saw Faith and decided to approach her.

"Hey, where are you coming from?" Willow asked.

"The library. Giles wanted to talk to us about some nonsense I quit listening about ten minutes in because I did not hear the words slay, vampires or kill or stab but protocol, rules, respect. Whatever," Faith said pulling her panties out her ass without any shame.

Willow winced.

"Where is Buffy now?"

"Still in the library with Grey Flannel. I decided to leave those two alone. You know sometimes you get the feeling you are not wanted in place? She is real possessive of him like she owns him or something. She can keep him. I had a watcher. She was eaten. I am good alone."

Faith said.

Oz said, "No one is good alone."

She hunched.

Willow curious on her take had to ask, "Cordelia has this absurd theory."

Faith widened her eyes as if to say, "About?"

"She thinks Giles and Buffy are being inappropriate with one another. Isn't that just silly?"

Faith grinned mischievously and said, "Hell no, Dude is beating B's pussy like it knows karate."

The brunette slayer is one of the few people that can make Oz laugh out loud, hell Willow wanted to laugh at what she said but she instead turned red as she kept a stiff upper lip and Oz simply went back and told Cordelia and Xander what she had said at the beginning of the second half of fifth period.

Cordelia guffawed, "And has fangs. I bet that is the real reason he lost his soul. She sucked it out of him."

Xander feigned quiet laughter. His feelings was hurt for a different reason.

She rather be with anybody but him.

Buffy arrived late shortly thereafter.

"Her majesty, Miss Summers had decided to grace us with her presence," the instructor said rightly upset. She could count the times she had been on time to her music theory on one hand.

"Sorry, Mrs. Johannes, I got tied up in the library," Buffy replied pitifully handing her now requisite handwritten excuse Giles would always write for her. Her teacher resentfully accepted it.

Oz, Cordelia and even Xander snickered.

Willow shot Buffy a sympathetic look. Buffy looked at all them perplexed as she tightened her hair tie on her high ponytail.

The slayer hurried to her seat in front of Willow.

"You missed lunch. Were you sick again?" Willow said with concern.

Buffy shook her head no.

"Yeah, Buff, we missed you," Xander said rolling his eyes unintentionally.

She balked at the eye roll but made no comment about it.

Stop being paranoid, Buffy, she thought. No one knows.

Thirty minutes passed. She knew something was up for sure when Cordelia asked, "Do you know karate?"

It was not so much that she asked her, it was how she asked, with a smirk as if to say caught you.

She responded, "You know I do. Why?"

Cordelia, Xander, Oz and Amy who had been clued in by Xander busted out laughing.

"What is so funny?" Buffy asked.

Willow assured, "Ignore them. They are all twelve year olds today."

"Something happened during lunch?" Buffy asked.

"We'll talk later," she smiled unconvincingly.

Feeling the tension, she gripped onto her desk tightly and practiced breathing exercises Giles had taught her. It helped her to resist the urge to either cry, scream or punch them all in the face and demand an answer.

Things had nearly calmed when Xander said, "Hi-ya."

They erupted again. This time, Cordelia was laughing to the point of near seizure as she choked asking to be excused.

Buffy looked at them all like they were crazy. But moreover, she felt discomfited. Whatever the joke was, she knew it was at her expense. In that moment, she broke her desk in two.

"Miss Summers, are you all right?" The teacher asked while the students turned their eyes to her.

Feeling flustered and exposed, she ran out the classroom into the restroom.

She was in full tears by the time her hand hit the handle.

Cordelia was in there snorting because her nose was running from laughing so.

"Buffy, what wrong with you? Come on. You of all people should be equipped to handle a joke," she said.

Buffy said nothing but looked at her like she was a lost little girl in a department store looking for her mommy.

Feeling compassion, Cordelia sighed then hugged her. She looked like she needed a hug.

"Look, I know you have been and probably still are going through whatever. I am sorry. Just be careful, okay? Imagine if it had been Harmony instead of me. The whole school, your mom would know. I am not judging believe it or not. I do not like you much but even I know Golden Oldies is better choice than that last loser no matter how hot he was," Cordelia hugged her tighter.

Buffy pulled away and frowned before drying her eyes and saying, "You should really invest in a dictionary and look up the word comfort."

Buffy stormed off, slamming the door so hard she ripped the handle off.

Cordelia snorted and reapplied her makeup.

"Hi-ya," she laughed once more.

The next two hours passed without incident.

After school, Willow made it a point to make a beeline to the library where she knew Buffy would be there because the last period was her study hall. Giles had coaxed the guidance counselor into making her a library helper so she could train then and have some semblance of a social life after school before patrolling.

She saw no one and was about to walk out when she heard Buffy shriek. It came from the direction of Giles' office.

Willow ran to the closed door but was afraid to open it. The last thing she wanted to do was catch then in flagrante.

Willow knocked lightly.

"Come in," he said exasperatedly.

She opened the door and noticed several odd things off the bat.

First off, Buffy was sitting behind his desk in front of his desktop and her hair was down. He was knelt beside her, one finger pointing at the screen, the other on the armrest next to hers. His hand half on top hers.

His suit jacket was draped on her shoulders. His hair was mussed and his glasses were not on.

"Giles, it is called reading. I thought you were like born with a textbook in your hand. Hi, Will. Guest what mister computer genius just done here."

"Inform me," she sighed.

"I called myself finishing up the last page of my chem paper so I can actually turn it in early. It was brilliant, Will. I asked him to proofread it. You know the one you helped me with fake hormone man," Buffy said.

"Percy Julian. He was a genius. Got in trouble though. Pooping where you eat can do that to you especially in education," she tilted her head and her eyes were full of derision.

They both felt the chill but ignored it.

"Well, anyway, he was supposed to hit save as, instead he hit open and it said file already open will replace with existing file and guess what happened."

"He erased your last page and all your corrections. Did you back up the file?"

Giles interjected, "Maybe if someone had not carelessly threw my glasses about they wouldn't have shattered in a million little pieces and I would have been able to see what I was doing."

Willow's imagination went into overdrive. She could imagine them kissing passionately and in the midst of her allowing him to push her against the wall, she grabs off his glasses to get a better look at him and them landing hard against the opposing wall.

Lo and behold if those glasses weren't where she imagined.

"I told you, hey, Giles, don't do that. Well, I am not going rewrite it. Or replace your glasses."

He grunted as he stood up. He raked his fingers through his salt and pepper dark brown hair and made a squinty face at Buffy before asking, "When is it due again?"

"Tuesday, the thirtieth."

"So, I have a week then," he said looking at her with unmistakable affection.

She pushed out his from his swivel chair and stuck her arms into his sleeves. She was not going to give his jacket back. She wanted an excuse to see him later. Plus, it smelled like him.

"No, no, no you don't. I wanted to turn it in tomorrow no later than Wednesday. One less thing to worry about. So, please could you do it, nowish?" She half-smiled, half pouted and grasped her hands together but was completely serious.

He was sitting in his chair almost looking like another person, a younger person without his glasses to age and harden him. He scooted back and flopped his large feet on his desk, crossing them at the ankle. Without the shackle of his glasses one could tell he felt relaxed or that was the reason Willow hoped.

This made Willow think, Goddamn, I sometimes forget how good-looking he is. Classy, well-dressed. That accent. I bet he looks good naked.

She focused on his large feet and smirked to herself as she thought thoughts that usually only starred Oz as of late.

It was a good thing she was not listening because she would have heard this.

". . . Now that may be a problem," he began low flirtatious voice, "we both know how much I enjoy taking my time."

Her whole body blushed. She smiled coquettishly as she placed her hands on his desk and leaned into him and replied, "Well, this is one time I am asking you to go fast."

They were making seriously moony eye contact when Willow started to feel dirty in her own thoughts and began paying attention again. She looked at her watch.

"Buffy, if we go now. Oz can drop us off at the coffee shop."

"Uh, okay. Nine?" She asked referencing what time they were going to meet.

"What's wrong with eight? It is a school night. I figure the earlier the better," he said. He said this more for Willow's benefit than not. Plus, the earlier they met the more time they would have alone.

She said okay in her funny little way, bid him adieu.

"His jacket, Buffy," Willow said simply to see what she would do and as a display of dominance.

"Oh, yeah," she slipped out of it in a fluid motion and held it up on one finger. She always felt more graceful when his eyes were on her.

He smiled at this and decided to counter.

"Give it to me . . . later," he said with his voice low and sultry and full of rife with innuendo.

She said very quietly, "Gladly."

Willow shuddered and rolled her eyes at him. She grabbed Buffy by the hand.

"Bye, Willow," he smirked. He knew she knew but somehow he did not find the compunction to care. After all she did not know the circumstances.

Ten minutes passed. Buffy was uncharacteristically silent when Willow asked her, "We should invite Cordelia and make fun of her in code right in front of her face. So she won't even realize."

"Oh, please no Cordelia," Buffy stuck her finger down her in quasi real disgust.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? It is Cordelia. I dealt with Faith earlier, too. I have been irritated enough by brunettes for one day. I just want to chill now and patrol later. FYI, Cordy knows. Xander told me."

"Oh. Want me to come with when you patrol? I have been working on a protection spell," Willow said sunnily.

Buffy slid down in the car seat and lazily said, "Nah. I figure you, Xander and even Cordelia have done enough patrolling last summer because of me. Relax and be with your honey. Giles and I got it."

Willow rolled her eyes and let out a grunt of frustration.

Oz let out a convincing cough to get Willow's attention and made eye contact with Buffy who looked away but only after a big smile crossed her lips for a nanosecond. Oz knew she really liked the librarian. And hoped his girl would not be so uptight about it.

"I would not mind is all. I like a little action," Willow said.

"Don't we all?" She almost cooed when she said it.

Five minutes passed and they were there. Oz volunteered to get their drinks so could talk.

"Oz is pretty cool. What do you have planned?" Was the only thing Buffy could think to say.

"Nothing much. It is Monday. Why don't you come to the Bronze tonight? It is Manic Monday where all sodas and snack are half off."

"Because they are flat and stale. Besides, I told you I have to patrol."

"Why? Can't it wait?"

"There is new nest, Will," she said seriously.

"Then I can help. All I want to do is help you because clearly you are sinking and you need help."

"Sinking? I am feeling better than I have in a while. What is your problem?"

"I do not have a problem. I just want to patrol with you."

"I told you. Giles and I can handle it."

"Why just the two of you? Why all the alone time? You do not have any time for me anymore."

"Really? Today and yesterday were the first times you volunteered to be around me in a month. Besides, he is my watcher. One on one time is in the job description."

"You have not been exactly the most inviting. You act like you have not done anything wrong. That you matter so little what you do does not hurt other people."

"We already had this convo, remember? What is really bothering you?"

You are hiding something from me. You are basically my sister and I feel it," Willow grabbed her hand.

"It is not what you think. Well, not exactly. Nothing has changed that much. We train and patrol."

"So, what do you do afterwards? You and Giles," Willow asked refusing to make eye contact at this point.

Buffy sighed not sure where she was going with this continued to act normal.

Then she said worst possible thing, "Go to bed."


	2. The Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- Does not belong to me but Joss Whedon and whoever else has the rights.
> 
> Synopsis- Xander has trouble coping with the revelation about Buffy and Giles. Cordelia puts him in his place.

The Sight

Xander sat there pouting even though the thing Cordelia was doing with lips on his neck and her hands on his thigh would usually elicit squeals of joy from a red blooded anything.

However, he could not get the slayer and watcher off his mind. The thought of the of the elder Englishman caressing, kissing, making sweet, sweet, no his jealousy allowed no such gentility . . . fucking her made his heart crack and bubble like an egg dropped carelessly in boiling water.

Cordelia knew how hard her beau had crushed on Buffy in the past. Natch, her ego just knew her feminine wiles would be enough to sway any man let alone a horny high schoolboy. Or so she hoped anyway.

She moved her mouth up to his ear when she saw the sadsack expression on his face struck her as odd to say the least.

"What?" Cordelia huffed.

"Where does Giles get off?" Xander grimaced.

"Probably on top on her. Down her throat. Being the slayer, she is used to warm, sticky fluids splashing on her face so she is probably into that as well," Cordelia said hoping to hurt his feelings like he had hers.

"I am serious. Maybe it is a spell or maybe it is not even them. The real Buffy and Giles are unconscious in a cave somewhere."

"What is so unbelievable about two attractive people who spend all their time together hooking up? That is what happened to us," Cordelia's emotional pendulum was going from sympathetic to jealous with each passing moment.

"You do not understand. The two of them together is like when Tyson bit off Holyfield's ear or when Joanie loved Chachi, it makes no sense. Out of all the men in the world, she chooses-"

"Not you? That is what you are really driving at here, isn't, Alexander? Damn the fact you have a perfectly beautiful woman right in front of you who by the way was gearing up to maybe blow you like I am sure Buffy has probably done to Giles at some point.

Just so we are clear, oral is totally off the table now in case you want to feign confusion. Instead of focusing on me, you are thinking of her. I knew earlier when you made fun of her harder than any one of us that you were hurt. I know enough about you to know that is how you deflect.

How could she pick the kind, older, handsome man who from I can understand literally exists to serve her over some grunt under the impression he is her friend because she is too much of a glory hound, attention whore or too nice of a person depending on your point of view to tell you to go the hell away."

Xander stammered, "B-b-buffy is not like that. Sh-"

"Let's compare, shall we? He always smells good and is very put together. Which is more than can be said about you on any given day. He does that pouty pucker thing with his lips when he's thinking. The whole being British automatically makes him sexy. He can read.

Exactly, what do you have to offer a freak like her? You barely have anything to offer an extraordinary girl like moi."

"If I am so gross and a loser, why are you with me?"

"You're a good guy, Xan. A nice guy. In case you have not noticed, she does not like nice guys. You will never stand a chance with her."

Xander pouted and said, "Giles is not a bad guy. Just old."

"He is not that old. Once when he got knocked out cold, I went into his wallet and checked his id. He was born in 1954. So, he is forty-four. It is not young like us but he isn't AARP material yet. From what I gathered Slayers do not live very long. So, in slayers years she is basically thirty-five like in dog years. The poor thing is doing the best she can. You need to get over it. And besides, good guys do not make deals with demons when they are teenagers nor do they bang seventeen year olds when they are not. And you saw how he beat the breaks off that Ethan guy. I think they used to be gay together. Not being a homo makes you a bad person but still."

Xander laughed a little at her comment as did she.

"He did have a certain Ripper why did you leave me baby, you know I love you Unbreak My Heart vibe," Xander grinned hunching her with his elbow.

"You can tell Giles used to be a total babe when he was our age, a little older. He turns heads now but in a hey, your dad is kinda hot and I feel like a slutbag for noticing sort of way."

"You think he and Buffy are serious?" He asked choking on the question like it was morning phlegm.

"Are we?" She asked.

He turned and looked at her with sympathy. She sounded so vulnerable.

"Of course, Cordy." He caressed her cheek.

"Then why are you so concerned about what's going on in Barbara Gordon's panties when you have Selina Kyle sitting right in front of you."

Turned on and shocked by her Batman reference, he kissed her hard before saying, "I knew you were nerd."

"Eww. Bite your tongue," she giggled.

"How bout you do it for me? Better yet. How about, I do to you what you pondered about doing to me?"

Cordelia blushed then smiled.

"Why, Xander. Who knew you were a cunning linguist?"

"We are about to find out," they kissed as Cordelia turned out the light.


	3. Ch. 3- The Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In denial, denial, denial- It is Buffy's turn when Willow elicits a confession about her and Giles. She gets more details than she bargained for. When it is all said and done- Oz reveals something Willow hoped to be her imagination.

Willow’s green anime eyes looked like they wanted to pop out of her skull in surprised disgust. Buffy scrambled to recover.

“I mean he drives me home and I go to bed in my bedroom and he goes to bed in his, I guess. Oh, damnit,” Buffy knew she had been found out.

So she acquiesced, “I was not imagining things when I saw Cordelia’s ass the other night was I?”

Willow shook her head no.

“Oh, god. I, she, who else has he she told? He could get deported. I will not be eighteen until January. This is October. This is all my fault. I know better than p.d.a. How did you find out?”

“Cordelia. She only told us.”

“Says she. Can you really be sure of that? She has a big mouth and no problem running it. That girl has verbal diarrhea. Nothing but streams of shit comes out,” Buffy was really getting panicky and nauseous.

“She will not tell because she likes Xander. She did call the two of you Lolita and Humbert.”

Overcome, she slid the van door open and puked for a lengthy period of time. Willow looked over her shoulder and saw remnants of peas and what looked like potatoes and lots of paste that she could tell used to be saltines.

After she was done, Willow gave her a box of tissues to wipe her mouth off with and her half drank Sprite to rinse. She wrote off the incidence as nerves even though it did not explain why she had puked the day before at the shoe store.

Buffy has a little stomach flu. There is no way Mister Cautious is scuba diving without a suit or at least that is what she had hoped to herself.

A moment, Buffy acted as nothing had happened then said, "That makes it sound so cheap. Humbert Humbert was a pathetic pedophile and Lolita was sex crazed, manipulative bitch who loved no one. He and I are not like that. I mean yeah, we have you know knocked boots but it is not pervy per se. I mean come on. Lolita was twelve. Who else knows?"

"Other than Faith and Amy, no one."

"Who told them?" Buffy demanded stomping and putting a dent in the van's floor.

"They both figured it out on their own."

“How? It is not as if we walk down the corridor with our tongues shoved down the other’s throat. We act normal. Like always. I thought,” she looked like she wanted to cry.

Feigning sympathy poorly, Willow said, “Do not worry.”

"Do not worry? I have a bad enough rep as is as the ax-crazy girl who runs around stabbing things who burned down her old school’s gym. Last thing I need to be known as is the girl banging the librarian.”

Willow shuddered and said, “But you are the girl banging the librarian.”

“Why are you being this way? I mean it is not like it happens all the time. It is not like we planned it. The first time anyway. You see, we knew you guys would react horribly.”

Willow thought, Oh, the two of you are a we now? How quaint.

“No, this is a normal person’s reaction.”

“Since when are we normal people?”

“I don’t know since always? No one else knows. Cordelia said she told you as much.”

“In the rudest way possible. Giles is right. That girl had no tact. Well?” Buffy asked.

Willow did not even attempt to hide her disapproval when she shook her head in questioning manner.

“What do you want to know first?”

“How long has it been happening?”

“You want the truth?”

“No, I want you to lie to me by omission for weeks, possibly months and you are not having rebound sex with the one consistent adult man in your life; pretend nothing is going on with you while you simultaneously ignoring me and shirk all best friend duties because damnit it is all about you,” finally she admitted her real anger. She cut out of her life. She felt unimportant.

“It is not rebound sex. It is something else altogether. What I do not know and neither does he. I am beginning to suspect he only says that for my benefit. Besides, we have decided to keep things professional. I thought we were anyway. Though, I do admit today was a bit touch and go. During lunch it was all he could do to bore Faith out the library because things were just getting perky before she just barged in there. I initiate it usually except for the times that I don’t.”

Willow winced.

“You two were practically naked compared to how many clothes you had on earlier. For f sakes, you threw off his glasses. What reason on earth would you have to snatch his glasses off his face other than they were in the way? It is like you two want to get caught or something. At school? Anybody could have walked in. What if it had been Snyder?”

“We are not careless. We usually wait until night or when we are at his place. Today was extenuating circumstances. We had a fight you see. That Saturday night, Sunday morning. We made up,” she hunched a little embarrassed at the admission.

“I do not understand. Make me understand,” Willow said emphatically with flailing arms.

“I just confessed. I don’t know what else you want.”

“The whole truth,” Willow insisted not sure what she meant herself.

To purely annoy her at this point Buffy said teasingly, “You mean details. Like he is packing a ten inch English cucumber? Those type of deets?”

She wanted Willow’s cheeks to be red as her hair.

“I was going to say if it was only intrinsic to the reason why. Really, he’s that . . . Boogie Nights?” Willow made that impressed face again. Feeling a bit pervy about imagining them together.

“But, you still have not told me how this happened. You or Giles never do things just to do them.”

She gave Willow a smirk that said sometimes we do. The same one Giles gave her earlier.

Willow thought, Oh, goodness. They are picking up each other mannerisms.

“I am just upset Cordelia knew you two were a couple before me. I mean, Cordelia. Ech,” she whined.

“I get it but I have to correct you. We are not a couple.”

Willow frowned at her incredulously. She then pursed her lips and asked a thoughtful question.

“How often do you two make it a point to spend time together since you have been back?”  


“He is my watcher. The spending time together is kind of a prerequisite but nearly every day. Not this Sunday though,” she said scowled. She was still sore about it.

“That is why you were such a sad sack, crybaby yesterday. You missed your boyfriend,” it began as a tease before Willow hit herself upside the head softly at the realization.

“Nun-uh. The argument bothered him more than me. He is not my boyfriend. Besides, they did not have my size. I really wanted those shoes,” her voice cracked. She was not about to admit how badly she had missed him.

“You cried over Keds. No one cries when they cannot get a pair of Keds,” she scoffed.

She simpered, “I do.”

Willow turned beet red before asking, “What about the you know?” She knocked two her two fists together.

Buffy rejoindered, “What about you and Eddie Munster? You two mated for life yet?”

“No. We have not made it that far yet.  Mostly hands over underwear. Him topless. I undress down to my bra. We almost did once but my dad came home early. I haven’t got up the nerve since.”

“So, second, rounding third?” Willow nodded.

“I knew beneath that bookish exterior was a sexy little minx,” Buffy laughed.

“See, I shared. I know just because you have seen his . . . vegetable does not necessarily mean you have experienced it yet. He seems like the type who likes to take his time. How far have you two gotten? Home run yet?”

“Try the World Series,” she replied smug with superiority. It was the only way she could combat her friend’s blazing judgement.

Willow replied the opposite of she had expected her to.

“Eww. It’s good, isn’t? I bet with all those books of his, Kama Sutra is bound to be one of them,” Willow hunched. She seemed to be softening a bit to the idea.

“He’s more of a Joy of Sex, Nine and a Half Weeks type of guy. Minus the mind games, avoiding my friends, the crossdressing, prostitutes, hideous music. And bondage. Except that one time by accident,” she chuckled.

“You forget about the nervous breakdown part. You totally had one earlier.”

The light got the sadness in her green grape eyes and she lamented, “My friends were whispering about me behind my back and I could sense it.”

Guilty, Willow changed the subject back, “So, basically, you two do it every other time you’re alone. Which is often. So, I assume the s-e-x is good then?”

Buffy scoffed, “I would be an idiot to keep doing him if he sucked. Which he does really well.”

Willow grimaced even though a part of her wanted to have an open mind about it.

Buffy groaned, “That is not like that is all we do, Will. We still patrol and train too. Which admittedly as of late has a tendency to go from TV-G to TV-MA but you know, still,” she blushed and put her hair behind her ear.

“Like when was the last time?”

“What time is it?” Buffy asked.

“Three thirty on the dot.”

“Dut, dut, carry the one, about an hour and a half ago on his desk.

That’s how my work really got deleted. He steadied himself on the keyboard without realizing. Heat of the moment and all. That other we told you was improvising. We usually do not do it at the school but today was extenuating circumstances. We were making up. We kind of had a fight.”

“I thought it sounded suspicious. I should have known. Hell, deep down I had naggings but I figured I was projecting and seeing loving everywhere because I have it now. All the signs were there. You brush off your friends, talk about him way more than you used to, you practically live in the library and go to his place way more often than you used to. Hell, he smiles now and actually has a sense of humor. You still don’t though,” Willow laughed and poked at her.

“I smile politely and nod when you guys attempt humor like just now,” she stuck her tongue out.

Willow moved on, “How often do you spend the night?”

“I was over there four times last week. Made it back home before my mom woke except a couple weeks ago. We overslept and my mom called looking for me. He told her I was there in his bed. I liked to have died. Then he told he told he was on the couch and he said we were hunting some vamps and one got away and he feared it might follow me home and put her in danger so he thought it would be best if I stayed at his place and that I was supposed to call and tell her so. Then I could hear my mom chirping about how irresponsible I could be. I could have hit him in the face. He made my mom scold me as if she and I do not have enough issues.”

“Did she believe him? It was a pretty thin lie even for him.”

“Who knows? The other day, she asked me in so many words had Giles ever hit on me or try anything that night and why did he monopolize so much of my time? I said oh, yeah, mom and Giles and I get it on everyday like Clinton and Lewinsky. Wanna see my blue dress? Call Kenneth Starr?”

“Buffy!”

“My mom had the same reaction except she asked me very pointedly, was he taking advantage of me. That if he was, it was not my fault because he was older and my teacher and how he should be ashamed and how she would have all these bad things happen to him.”

“What did you say?” Willow asked with a slack jawed expression.

“Then I told her she was crazy and gross and she was just mad she could not hurt Angel or dad for that matter so she was going to take it out on him.”

“Harsh,” Willow sighed.

“Yeah, it was. She cried and left. I felt like such shit afterwards. I called him crying and told what I said. He scoffed and said is that all? I told my parents worse than that before breakfast when I was fourteen. He told me what to say and it all blew over mostly. I did not even get grounded.”

Willow thought, So good sex makes her listen.

“Sounds like he gave you some good advice,” Willow said aloud. 

 “Apparently, he had to kiss a lot of ass after that whole I hate the world so I sold my soul thing. Who knew that sort of thing was looked down upon?” She half laughed.

“I know, right? So, um, back to what I was saying? Do you do things for each other like remember how he likes his tea-”

“Sugar and cream with a little Earl Grey mixed in. Did you know family is the world’s fourth largest producer of bergamot?”

Willow made an impressed face that read ‘Really? So, he is well off? Makes sense explains a lot. Like he is afford all those weapons and one of a kind tomes.”

“The way he dresses. He always looks clean, you know?”

“Do you think he is handsome?”

“I am not blind. Don’t you?”

“Well, yes. But, you know.”

“He has a nicer body than you would imagine.”

“I am not shocked. He is the one who shows you how to fight.”

“True. What else do you want to know?”

She continued, “He remembers your favorite sandwich order?”

“Eggplant with lots of lemon basil aioli. Or lobster po’boy. Which food truck he passes first. But, mostly, he cooks. He is good at it.”

Willow scoffed and said, “You know the evidence is piling up against you, right?”

“You wish.”

“Ever told him something you would never tell anyone else and vice versa?”

Buffy hunched, “Maybe.”

“So, you two are a couple. That is like the definition. You two in  . . . love?” Both young women shuddered after she said it.

“I am going to tell you like I told him Saturday when he broached a similar topic,” Buffy began. “We are two people put in an unusually close situation who happen to like being physically intimate and have one thing truly in common. Me,” she said unaware she was cradling his jacket close to her body like a child does a favorite teddy bear. This gesture betrayed her bravado. After all, she knew that comment among others was the reason why he avoided her that Sunday. She had hurt his feelings though he acted as if nothing had happened on Monday.

“Oh, I get it. You turned into a dude over the summer,” she decided to let her friend have her pride for now.

“As if. I just don’t want to pretty things up with titles. If you slap a name or designation to something then you either have to live up to it or get heartbroken by it. But, there is one title I would not mind having,” Buffy laid his jacket across her lap and went into her backpack and pulled out her English literature book.

She rifled through its pages in search of the poem, The Flea by John Donne. She had hidden a photograph there. When she found it and traced over it with her finger.

“I think it looks like an upside tornado to me in the middle of a whirlpool or white noise. What do you think?” As Buffy was about to hand her the photo, Oz returned. Buffy quickly put it back away.

“Sorry. I think the barista had to teleport to Java and pick the beans and roasted them himself on the way back,” Oz said dryly.

“Was his name Clark by chance? See, I am funny,” Buffy was bothered by Willow’s accusation of being humorless.

“Nah. His name was Barry, though. Could be the Flash.”

They all laughed.

Willow’s curiosity was now heightened to Spiderman levels of tingling.

She had to know what the hell caused the seismic shift between her compadres.

Oz dropped Buffy off by her house. Willow walked her to the door.

“You still have not told me why or when. I got to know everything. I mean everything. Who pursued it?”

“Both of us and neither. It is weird,” Buffy said.

“How long has it been going on?”

“Well, um, a year and a half ago. I kinda, sort of kissed him and he did not push me neither. Another time, well, we, his hand found its way in my panties. We were training and things got sweaty. That did not suck at all. But, he was apologetic about it the next day. Took all the fun out of it. That was about a year ago.Then that thing with the statue of Cetera-”

“Sidero,” Willow corrected.

“Nothing happened again until this summer.”

“As in when he told us he couldn’t find you? This summer?” Willow was pissed now. The idea of being lied to and needlessly worried for so long felt like another betrayal. She did not know either of them anymore.

“Yes. But, it was my fault he done that. He did not want to. So, be mad at me,” she said touching her arm.

“I am. Believe that. I got to go. I will, uh, talk to you later unless you are too worn out from all that patrolling later. From the sound of it, the two of you have been patrolling vigorously.”

Willow began to walk away. Buffy ran in front of her.

“The average slayer dies at twenty. The one before me died when she was nineteen. The oldest living one ever was only twenty-four.  She had a son and Spike killed her.”

Willow stopped in her tracks and turned around.

She felt compassion.

Only Buffy could make her go from bitchy to mama bear in the blink of an eye.

“I am sorry to hear that. But, what does that have to with you and Don’t Stand So to Me?”

Buffy frowned then laughed.

“I am going call him that later just watch his face go all red. It’s adorable,” she put her hand over her mouth she did not mean to say adorable.

Willow just shook her head.

“Well?”

Buffy went into her literature book and pulled out the envelope again.

“Do this for me. Read the Flea by John Donne then look at it. After that, come meet here tomorrow and we’ll skip school-”

“I have never skipped school. I did not even miss school to go to my meemaw’s funeral. I loved my meemaw, Buffy.”

“I really need you. And I really do need to tell someone what’s going on with me right now. I don’t want to do it alone. I just thought you did not care anymore. So, I tried to cope on my own and that is another reason why I have clung to him so close. He is the only who really gets me.”

“I want to get you. I used to. Plus, I have read the Flea. It is open to all types of interpretation. They all have to do with the consequences of sex. What are you saying?”

“Just come by in the morning. If it were the other way around, I would do it for you in a heartbeat,” Buffy said.

“Okay. What if I want to talk before then? Wouldn’t make more sense for me to hang out with you tonight?” Willow was still determined to get her away from him if only for a couple hours.

“Do you want me to get back into the van with you and Oz?”

“Not really. But if you did I would not resent you. ”

“Most times I do not care but I kind of have to tell him something and I need to do it alone. But, you will know everything tomorrow.”

“Why wait is all I am saying. I will blow off Oz if you blow off Giles. Fair is Fair,” Willow was serious.

Buffy made a squinty face and huffed.

“You remember when you told me I was the sister you never had?”

“Yes. I mean it still.”

“You do anything for family, right? I am no meemaw but will you please miss school tomorrow?” She asked batting her eyes.

Over the summer, she had got being manipulative down to an art form.

It was never to hurt anyone but only to get what she wanted for a change.

“Okay. You win this time, Gadget. I will see in the morning. Bright and truant,” she said still paining to say truant.

“Tomorrow will be ours we will make a whole day of it. Shit, I will pay for everything. Just give me tonight.”

Willow rolled her eyes then nodded.

Buffy reiterated, “Come tomorrow.” Then she paused. “Oh and Willow,” she said before opening her front door.

She nodded yes.

Buffy said, “When you look in that envelope I want you to know after the year I have had, I just want something no one can take from me.”

“No one can take me from you. Not even you,” she said.

They both melted and met each half way and hugged.

They waved bye and Willow returned to the van.

“Did she admit it?” Oz asked.

“Yeah.”

“So, when will we be godparents?” Oz asked.

Willow looked at him sideways and asked, “Huh?”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave to share your opinion. Feedback is much obliged.


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